If It Makes You Happy
by KnightOfLelouch
Summary: When he came to the door he didn't expect to be kissed, he didn't expect to be loved, he took a shot in the dark and placed his fractured heart in a bow and offered it with happiness. If it was fractured he wouldn't mind, if it was thrown away he wouldn't care. Love was the only thing he had to give...but as long as the one he loved smile who cares if it hurt. Rated for Angst!
1. Chapter 1

A/N; I rewrote this story and fixed all the errors!

If it Makes You Happy…

"You know what night it is right?" an unhappy voice said as he pressed the phone to his ear

"I apologize, but I was just given an important project to handle" another voice said on the end hearing a short hum on the other line.

"I know your work is busy, but I was under the assumption you would be home tonight"

"As soon as I'm done with this I'll be home as soon as possible" the voice said

"Alright" came a sigh, "Just hurry home, I made something really special for tonight" they said rather giddy, smirking.

"I'll see"

"Okay, love you Bunny-chan!"

"I know" and with that the line ended

That was 5 hours ago,

Tan fingers tapped against the clothed table, amber eyes looked to his watch that flashed the time

'10:00 pm'

"He's late again…" with a sigh, Kotetsu turned away from his watch, a frown on his face as he looked toward at the table, he had spent all day cooking and cleaning for when his boyfriend came home.

"Come on Barnaby" he sighed looking at the empty seat in front of him, it was becoming apparent that he was going to be late or wasn't come home at all. With a sad sigh, Kotetsu rose from his seat, leaning over he blew the candles out releasing the black thin trail into the air.

'So much for this special day' he began cleaning up the table, suddenly he heard a knock coming from the front door.

"Who could be knocking at this time of night?" he made his way toward the front, "Hold on I'm coming!" he called out, taking a hold of the door knob, with a quick twist he opened it and was meet with…

"A giant stripped bear!?" he gasped in shock

"Good Evening Kotetsu-sensei!" a voice called out, from behind the bear a familiar green haired male peeked out.

"Oh hello V" Kotetsu greeted the other, "What are you doing here this time of night?" he asked as the male gave another happy smile.

"Oh well, I wanted to deliver this in person" he said showing all the stuff in his arms

"Well why don't you set it inside it must be heavy" he said motioning inside, V gave a short blush,

'Kotetsu-sensei invited me inside! Stay calm V' he thought

"Thank you Kotetsu-sensei!" he thanked earnestly before making his way inside, maneuvering the handle full of items setting them on the couch, but not before removing his green and black gym shoes.

"So what's all the stuff for?" Kotetsu asked closing the door

"There for you! Please except them!" he exclaimed suddenly surprising the tanned male

"Me?" he pointed to himself

"Yes, I mean I heard today was your birthday! So I went out and bought some of your favorite things" he said a little fast showing the other the tiger stripped teddy bear and the basket full of items.

"Wow, I mean you didn't have to get me anything" he said,

"It's no problem, I-I wanted to get you something, today is such a special day" he said, "Plus since I've only been working with you a short time I've missed so many of your past birthdays! No that I knew when your birthday was…" he explained as the other gave a small chuckle at his rambling

'Awe he's cute' he thought seeing the other flustered

"Well thank you for your gifts" he thanked the other with a warm smile

'He's smiling at me! He's too cute' he thought almost grimly seeing the other giving him such a face, why did he bring his camera?

"So what's in the basket?" he asked curiously

"Oh, well I made a basket with all your favorite things" he said showing the other the basket, inside was a variety of Mayo, some Mr. Legend merchandise one of his favorite heroes, some toothbrushes, and various other items.

"Wow you really put a lot of time into this" he said awed at the detail in the basket

"Thank you Kotetsu-sensei, I'm glad you like it" he blushed rather embarrassed, "Though I bet your…bo…boy…Barnaby-san must have given you something really good" he said with a small pout, he never really liked the fact that Kotetsu had a boyfriend and was even more upset that he was taken by that pretty boy Barnaby Brooks Jr. Now he didn't have anything against the blond, but seriously he had half the female populous and a few males in Sternbild fawning all over him, dazzled by his cool good looks. He was on t.v shows, magazine covers, radio shows, you couldn't go anywhere without seeing his face. Barnaby Brook's Jr. the handsome young bachelor of Sternbild.

That's what made him upset, even though he had a great catch like Kotetsu he still referred to himself as a bachelor.

As V snapped out of his thoughts he saw a frown on Kotetsu's face and went into full 'red alert mode'

"Are you okay Kotetsu-sensei!? I-I…did I do something to upset you!?" he said and began apologizing

"Huh? No you didn't" he shook his head giving a small smile of reassurance

"Hey have you eater anything yet?" he asked as the green eyed male blinked

"No actually"

"Well if you're not in a rush I made so dinner for me and Barnaby, but I don't think he'll be home soon" he said a little sadly but held his smile, "I would hate to have it go to waste, would you like to join me dinner?" he asked

V stood there for a moment, 'Dinner with Kotetsu-sensei, dinner Kotetsu made, thank you!'

"I would love too! Thank you!" he nodded,

"Great, come on" he said motioning for the other to follow who happily did so. Taking his seat V looked amaze at all the food on the table.

"Wow everything looks so good!"

"Thank you, I've been trying some new recipes" Kotetsu said fixing their plate, "Barnaby has been complaining that all I cook is fried rice" he said, though he did make some as a side dish.

'He should feel lucky he has such an angel to even cook for him' he stressed, "Thank you!" he said accepting the food, lingering a bit as the other smiled at him, it was so cute.

Picking up a spoonful of food, taking a bite, green eyes widened,

"Something wrong?"

"It's…so delicious~" he said with twinkles in his eyes

"That's a relief I'd feel guilty if I gave you food poisoning on my first attempt at new cooking skills" he smiled watching the other enjoy his food, it was nice. It had become routine eating alone, because of their different work schedules they rarely saw each other until late at night and if luckily at a time when they both were awake. Most of the time he would call his lover, wondering why he was so late. He knew he was a busy business president, having to take over his family company, but it was lonely waiting up for the other day after day. As the night progressed Kotetsu and V talked and laughed, it felt almost foreign having a conversation with someone. Whenever he tried to talk to Barnaby, it was always short, a phone call from work always cut into their time with each other.

'Bunny you're working too hard, you need to take a vacation or something'

'Can't, I need to read over these proposals, plus I have three different meetings today, plus there's executives coming so a vacation is out of the question'

He didn't even stop his paperwork to look at him, every time he wanted just a little time together he would always have an excuse. He wasn't expecting much, he knew there were contradicting differences to him and his lover. One of the biggest one's being that they were years apart, Barnaby being a young 24 year-old, while Kotetsu was middle aged in his late 30's.

Moving the conversation to the couch, Kotetsu had opened a bottle of wine pouring both of them a glass and resumed their conversation. Removing his shoes and blazer he had worn for tonight.

"Wow Kotetsu-sensei you're stories are really interesting!" V said earnestly

Kotetsu gave a short chuckle, "Thanks, it's nice to hear someone interested in an old man's ramblings"

"I don't know about the old man and rambling part, but I find your stories snip-its of wisdom that I cut and paste into my daily life!" he laughed, using computer humor in his sentences.

Half-way into the conversation Kotetsu asked,

"V?"

"Huh?"

"Do you…do you think I'm being delusional?" V blinked trying to understand the question

"What do you mean?"

"Well, after my wife passed I never really thought about dating again" he started playing with his wedding ring, "All I really thought about was my work and taking care of my daughter, though I have to admit I wasn't good in the parent department" he said with a light chuckle

"When I moved here to help my brother with his business, I met a lot of good people, like you V" at that mention V blushed, "But I never thought I attract the attention of…someone like Barnaby" it still felt surreal, he had actually approached him one night at the bar where he helped out at with his brother. It was hard not to recognize the blond haired male, though Kotetsu didn't really care that much for status, plus Barnaby was someone loved by everyone really, girls literally threw themselves at him wherever he went. So it was even more shocking when he kept coming back, over and over again to the bar where he worked. At first he thought nothing of it, he was just another customer. But soon it became more,

"When I first met Barnaby he was just as people had mentioned, he was cool" he said with a small blush, "The way he smiled, the way he spoke, the way he touched me, I fell in love with all of it" as he spoke so happily of the other V couldn't help feel sour.

"Soon Barnaby would bring me small gifts coming up to my job at different time, it made me feel like crushing school girl, which was embarrassing as you can imagine for an old man like me" he blushed

'Why can't I get Kotetsu-sensei to blush like' he wept on the inside, even though he knew he was dating another, he still wanted to make Kotetsu smile whenever he could. To see his eyes gentle and kind and full of good cheer, it made his heart swell with warmth.

"Before I knew it we were dating, then after that living together, it all happened so fast" he said with a sigh, "But…after all this time, I…I feel like Barnaby has…lost interest in me"

"Lost interest?"

"When we first got together Bunny-chan was so tender with me, a little less during sex, but he would hold me kiss, whisper sweet things in my ear, place tender kisses on my skin" he thought happily of those sweet times, "In those tender moments I would happily give him anything he wanted be it a hug, a kiss, or even sex"

'Why must you torture me so Kotetsu-sensei' he wept again on the inside

"But I'm a father, a male, and an old man, the thought of being with someone like me must creep him out" he said swirling the wine in the glass, "Barnaby's a young man, he's smart and handsome, he'll defiantly find someone he wants to be with, maybe even start a family" he stopped for a second

"Kotetsu-sensei?" V gulped trying very hard to take in the other words, "I don't want to offend you but your words are ridiculous"

Kotetsu gave a smile and said, "I've been thinking about it for a long time now, when the time comes I'm prepared to let him go" green eyes looked at the male before him, the man he looked up to as a mentor and at one point a father figure, eventually those feelings quickly turned into love. While it pained him to see him with another, while it hurt him listening to him always talking about what a great person Barnaby was and how much he cared for him, to see him sitting before him, with smile on his lips, but looking like he was going to cry and had given up.

'I can under stand that look' every time he stood in front of the mirror he had fix the smile he had practiced for years

He felt like he would break at any moment

"Kotetsu…"

"Hm, yes it's okay I knew that Barnaby would lose interest in me, wanting to be loved, that was just an old man's unrequited love" he said, "Even today, as I get one year older, I feel myself growing farther away from him. Even when we're in the deepest embrace, the feeling becomes routine" he said solemnly letting his amber eyes fall to the wine.

"But that isn't true!" V said standing suddenly, "Kotetsu you're one of the greatest people I know, and you're kind and wise, a great cook, your always helping people!" he said, "Plus you're in great shape! Your age shouldn't matter, if you love someone, truly love them you can look past anything. In general you're really special and anyone would be lucky to have you!" he said with a short blush

'I want my words to reach him, I want to mend the wounds before it widens and consumes all the happiness'

"That's the reason I fell in love with you damn it!" he yelled out suddenly, there was an awkward silence and after a couple of moments V finally realized what he had done and quickly covered his mouth.

"What did you say?" V shook his head quickly

"I'm sorry! I'm really, really sorry!" he apologized repeatedly

'Now I've made things awkward, Kotetsu must be so uncomfortable now, 'he must hate me for saying something like that' he thought frantically, 'Why the hell don't I ever think before talking!?' he scolded himself

"Did…did you say you love me?" he asked, green met amber, before he seemed to calm down

"I can't lie to you, yes I said it!" he replied, "I can't help it, you're really special and cute and I…I…" he was suddenly silenced but a pressure on his lips, his eyes would have popped out of his head if they could.

'K-Kotetsu…lips…kissing me!?' when the lips pulled away amber eyes looked at the green haired male

"Are you okay?" he asked seeing the male red in the face and sitting almost frozen in place

"Yeah…just a small short circuit" he joked trying to compose himself

"I'm sorry, V" he apologized to the other, "This is so awkward, if I made you feel uncomfortable in any way"

"No No! it wasn't anything like that!" he said, "It…was really nice" he said with a short blush

"It's just, when you said those words, when you said I love you, it felt so nice" he said

"But, doesn't your bo…bo…"

"He did, when we first got together, now I barely have anytime with him and he doesn't seem to mind" he said sadly, "I can't even remember the last time he said it" V remained silent for this, if he has someone like Kotetsu he would say he loved him every day.

"Could…you say it again?"

"Huh?" V blinked thinking over the question, "I…I love you" Kotetsu smiled at this, leaning in close he prepared apply another, suddenly he found the others hand in his way,

"Um, before this goes in further…are you drunk in anyway?"

"I've only had half a cup a wine"

"Secondly are you sure…you want to do this?" he asked, green looking into amber, without a word Kotetsu placed his lips over the others sealing his answer. Soon the kiss was returned, carefully dragging his tongue over the bottom lip, Kotetsu parted his lips allowing the other to enter inside. Their tongues touched and moved against each other, the taste of red wine ever present.

As they parted a heated red blush was present on both their faces as lidded amber and neon green meet before again pressing their lips again. Leaning back the two now lay on the sofa lips still connected in a deep and heated kiss. Tan hands moved into a short green hair messaging ever so gently trying to deepen the kiss.

As hands moved to roam and explore each other's bodies, breaking the kiss again hands began to unbutton and shed clothing,

"Kotetsu…" V blushed as Kotetsu placed kisses all over his face moving down to his neck feeling the body tense under him,

"Is this your first time?" Kotetsu asked looking down at the green haired male who blushed more looking off to the side,

"Y-Yes…"

'So cute' he smirked placing a short kiss on the others forehead, his eyes full of tenderness and warmth

"Don't worry, your sensei will take care of you" he smiled as V became flustered

'Kotetsu-sensei!' he began having an inner battle, it should illegal for a man to be that cute! His heart was pumping fast in his chest, his mind buffering from the heat of the moment,

Kotetsu sat up, only clad in his boxer's and his white dress shirt, his hair slicked back only adding to his mature beauty. With tempting of movements he began shedding his top, revealing his chest, V's eyes roamed and scanned his muscular physique his eyes falling on the scar just above the his shoulder and nape. He had remembered when he had gotten that wound, a guy named Jake had been causing trouble at the bar, at one point he tried to hit on Karina who was visiting with the others. Needles to say everyone didn't take to kindly to that, but it was Kotetsu who had taken care of the unruly red haired, tattooed punk. In the midst of the fight Kotetsu gave wounded and ended up with the scar. Everyone was worried because of his injury, but he only smiled and laughed it off, even during recovery he played it off as a battle scar.

"Kotetsu-sensei!" two hands shot up stopping the overs movement

"V? What's wrong?" he questioned seeing the troubled look in the others face

"I…I really want to do this with Kotetsu, but…" he sighed looking the others in the eyes, "This is a very…this situation isn't the way I wanted to be with you"

"I wanted…to earn your affection, talk with you, go on dates, eat together…make you fall in love with me" he smiled a little, "I want your eyes to be filled with happiness and wanting, but when I look now I just see a sadness hidden behind a wall of contentment"

"Please understand Kotetsu-sensei I love, I really love you…I love the way you smile, how you look cute without even trying, how you always give advice and try to help people, the way you cook, the way you walk you walk, your voice , I could spend the whole night listing all the things I adore about you"

"Oh V…" tears built up in amber eyes as the word reached into his ears, traveled through his blood, and entered his heart.

"You've moved this old man to tears" he smiled truly, wiping the tears away softly, "Thank you V" with a good pull V helped the other male back up fixing his shirt.

"No problem…" he blushed trying to ignore the awkwardness

'Anytime I would have been happy to been a substitute, artificial love and happiness run through me like a dagger piercing what's left of this tattered and fractured heart'

"Again I'm sorry V, to put you in this awkward situation" he apologized, but V only smiled and said, "I'm used to it, I mean not that I've been in this kind of situation, just awkward ones…and…I…can I have some more wine?" Kotetsu laughed at the others sudden shyness

'Even his laugh is cute' V blushed

'I haven't laughed this much in a long time' after pouring some more wine, the two males continued their conversation trying to put off the awkward interaction.

"So V how is your work coming along?" Kotetsu asked, "I heard from Karina you've been working hard on your composing" V blushed at this

"Well yeah…I mean I still have a lot of work to do, but I think if I keep working really hard I'll get better!" he said as Kotetsu smiled

"Well keep at it, one day I hope to here you play!"

'Kotetsu-sensei why must you torment me so!'

"Well enough about me, this is your day" he said trying to change the subject, he felt selfish rambling on about his life.

"Well I…" suddenly there was a buzzing sound echoing in the room that sounded like a mix of techo music, "S-Sorry!" V apologized pulling out a device from his pocket

"Is something wrong?"

"Not really, apparently there's some big interview on right now…um do you mind?"

"No go ahead, we can watch it here" Kotetsu said reaching for the remote on the table with a press of the button the giant screen tv came on,

"Wow that is so cool!" V gushed looking over the big screen television that was the size of the wall, "It's so big and technologically structured!" if it's one thing V loved besides his sensei was technology, big or small, V fanned whenever he saw something new or old even.

"Yeah I guess, what channel is the interview on?"

"Oh um, I think the TAN channel"

"TAN?"

"Yep, the Technology Advancement Network!" he explained, "They showcase all the new and up incoming advancement in technology and robotics! Always staying on the cutting edge of medicine, media, science, engineering, and cybernetic"

"Oh…right…" after flipping through the channel's he find the network as V took his spot back on the couch

"Looks like something big"

"Hello I'm Agnes, where standing here live from the Golden Goddess Tower, where some of Sternbild's most successful technology cooperation's have come together to celebrate the merger of Apollon Media's. Amongst these power players is the young president and handsome bachelor Barnaby Brooks Jr.!" at the mention of the blonds name the camera zoomed in on the young president who seemed to be mingling well with the other attendee's as camera's flashed and people chattered, there was even sounds of girls gushing and screaming.

"I don't get it…" V shrugged, "If you two are da…toge…a cou…living together" he forced, out finally finding a word he could say "There we go…then how the hell can he be a bachelor" he said almost leering at the screen.

"Hm, it's hard to explain" he sighed, "The company thought it would be better for publicity if Bunny was a young, single president"

"Publicity…" he wasn't buying it, "It must be hard when you guys go out" he said

"Not really"

"Huh?"

"Since Barnaby took over his parents company, we very seldom go out in public, in case the media see's us. If that happens we're just friends out for a drink or just hanging out" he couldn't name the all times he was pushed out of the way, watching from the side as he was surrounded my media and adoring fans.

'As he stood to the side, he watch from afar as he was given a smile as if to apologize, but soon that smile became routine and seemed to loss meaning'

V didn't say anything at that, no it's not that, what he was defining was like saying he was ashamed of the relationship he had with Kotetsu. If he really loved and cared for him it wouldn't matter who he was dating,

"I don't mind really, Bunny is a young man, he has a good future" he said though he was smiling, the sadness peaked again in those amber eyes.

"Oh! I've just gotten word that Mr. Brooks Jr. didn't come to this gala alone!" the reporter said, "It appears Barnaby a date, a woman Mr. Brooks Jr. has been photographed on multiple outings around the city!" suddenly pictures of Barnaby and a mysterious honey brown female appeared on the screen showing them at various places like restaurants, shops, and other places around the city.

Suddenly the camera's zoomed into on Barnaby who was answering questions, on his arm was a woman with honey brown hair that was done in a bun with curled bangs on each side, dress in a simple long red dress and shimmering jewelry.

"Barnaby, if I may ask, my viewers are dying to know who your date is" Agnes inquired holding the microphone, Barnaby gave his award winning smile,

"Allow me to introduce you to Lisa Marie, my date"

"Nice to meet you" the woman spoke softly

"I think I speak for all woman in Sternbild who must be dripping with envy snagging this handsome catch"

"Actually I'm the lucky one, Barnaby is one of the most caring lovers"

"Oh!"

"Today is actually Lisa's birthday"

Green eyes peered over to the side, as he looked over at the other he could already sense it, the despair,

As the interview went on, the questions of love and admiration's like a knife in his very heart, the light of hope, the flicker he had protected was dimming, fading quickly with each word.

With a push of the button, the television turned off ending the asinine interview, "What a waste of time, right Kotetsu-senpei?" he said giving a small smile, "Kotetsu…senpei…?" for a moment there was no answer, when he finally moved V caught those amber eyes again, the ones that burned and flickered with such happiness and life, were dim reflecting the brokenness breaking through the cracks of his crumbling walls.

"Oh…Kotetsu…I…" he watched the man rise from the couch his wine forgotten, "Excuse me" he said quietly almost automatic as he moved past the couch and went upstairs.

'Kotetsu…'

After a few moments of sitting there, V finally resolved to follow the other the worry of the others health banging against his mind. When he finally found him, he was pacing back in forth in a bedroom he suspected was his and Barnaby's, two suitcase's were on the bed. Opened with a few clothes inside, Kotetsu was in his closet taking a few choice clothes out, some shirts and pants,

"What are you doing?" he asked, though he could probably already guess what was happening

"Just packing a few things…nothing big just the stuff I moved in with" he placing the clothes before snapping the case shut clicking the mental hinges.

"Where are you…going to go?" he asked

"Huh? Well…I think Antonio will let me stay with him for a while, though I was thinking of returning back to my home town" he didn't know how to feel at this moment, it was a combination of happy and sad at the same time, a bittersweet mixture that making V unwell to stomach.

After the final suitcase was closed he moved passing V, "Kotetsu-senpei wait!" he called going after the older male, "Let's talk about this" he said walking down the stairs.

"Listen I know your hurting, but I think you need to think about this before making such a rash decision" he said as he stopped just before the door.

"There's…there's nothing left for me here" he said, "There's no love, no warmth, just a mundane routine of broken promise and secrecy" he said placing the suitcase's down to his sides, he turned to look at V, a tan hand placed on the others cheek stroking it lightly,

"When I heard you say you love me, I could see it in your eye that it was true" he said smiling softly, "When I kissed you I felt a spark that I had thought vanished"

"But, thank you…thank you for coming here and being with this old man, you actually made today happy" he said though V had other thoughts

"I feel like I made more of a mess of your birthday then anything" he mumbled, "I wanted you to be happy, but instead I made you feel worse and now…"

"Hey now, you had the best intentions in mind, the thought that you came and tried to cheer me up makes me happy" Kotetsu smiled before reaching up and placing a kiss on the others cheeks. After the lips left his cheek, V's hand eclipsed over Kotetsu's tanned one.

"V?"

"Um…if's it's not too much trouble…I mean, would you consider…" he tensed, trembling trying to find the words, "Kotetsu please move in with me!" he said suddenly

"Huh?"

"I…I mean if you want you could live with me, my apartment has enough room and I would be really, really worried about you, so you can stay with me until then, that is if you want…" he blushed as amber eyes just stared at him

"That actually sounds nice"

"Huh?"

"I accept your offer, as long as I'm not kicking you out or anything"

"No No NO! I have plenty of space!" he said worried the other would change his mind, "I promise to be a good host, my cooking skills might to rusty, but I'll make sure your comfortable"

"It's fine, I can handle the cooking" Kotetsu said, "Though I hope you don't mind having an old man around" he chuckled rather cutely

"I already said it, it would bring me nothing but absolute happiness! So please don't second guess it" Kotetsu only smiled at the males resolve

"Thank you, V"

After that, V had taken Kotetsu back to his apartment. Though it wasn't what Kotetsu had expected, his thoughts had been on a beginner apartment,

"This is your apartment!?" he gasped a shocked look on his face, "How can you afford a place like this on a waiters salary?"

"Huh? Oh right…" he laughed nervously, "Yeah, you see even though I write music and do small jobs and work as a waiter, I'm one of the most sought after techno genius out there, companies pay me a lot to check their security systems and make sure their up to date" he admitted

"Wow…you're just full of surprises aren't you" Kotetsu said

"Well anyway let me go get your room ready!" V said happily running to the back to prepare the spare room

'Such a kind guy…'

After that everything seemed to fall into place, V was a great host dotting on Kotetsu's need, at first it was strange waking up in a single bed, though he had grown used to doing many things alone with Barnaby always gone.

Right now, Kotetsu was in the kitchen, he was trying to find something good to fix for dinner,

"Let's see this looks good" he said looking over the recipe

Suddenly there was a knock on the door,

"A visitor?" he thought walking to the door, "Coming, coming hold on" grabbing hold to the door knob he opened the door, "Hello can I…help you?" his voice went quite as amber stared into blue,

"Barnaby?" he blinked trying to see if he was hallucinating

"Good evening, Kotetsu" he said, his entire demeanor seemed composed as he stared at the other

"How…what are you doing here?" he asked breaking the awkward silence, though he was surprised to see the other here after everything, in truth he hadn't spoken to him since he left and moved in with V, that was almost two weeks ago.

"I was going to ask the same thing, I came home and found you weren't there. You haven't picked up any of my calls" he replied looking back at Kotetsu, "Do you mind if I come in?" Kotetsu thought for a second before replying

"Sure, why not" he said and motioned for the other to follow him, once inside Barnaby looked over the apartment, "I have to say I wasn't expecting to see a place like this"

"I thought the same thing the first time I came here, but its V's place" he said setting a glass of water on the table, one for him and Barnaby.

"Thank you" he said accepting the glass of ice water

"You look…well" Barnaby said

"Why don't we skip the small talk, I know you hate things like that" he said

"Hm, right" Barnaby took a sip of the water before setting the glass down, "I want you to return home" he thought it might be something like that

"That's not an option" he replied

"Why not, why did you suddenly leave without telling me?" he questioned surprised by the others answer

"Don't take it the wrong way Bu…Barnaby, it's just…" he began taking a short breath, "I don't think me and you…the relationship we had is gone"

"What?"

"It's true, we barely see each other, you're never home and when you are your always working, I can barely get at least one conversation with you without something for work coming up" he stressed,

"That's unfair, you know I have a lot expected of me"

"That's not the point, I knew that when you took over the company you would have responsibilities and I accepted it, because I knew you had a great future ahead of you" he stated, "I even accepted being pushed to the background and hidden like some dirty secret, because I truly believed that as long as I had you, as long as we were together is was all okay" he tensed, "I also didn't want to hurt your bright future"

"But…in the end it was just an old man's unrequited love" he sighed, bringing back the small smile on his face, "I was at my end point forgiving the small things, broken dinner promises, late outings, the endless excuses…but when I saw you with that woman I felt the last flicker of hope I had vanish" and that's when he saw it, as Barnaby listened to the others word he felt a numb feeling inside, a dread that bubbled and stirred in his gut. He knew exactly what Kotetsu was speaking of, on that day, the day he should have been with him for his birthday, and he caved under pressures and allowed himself to escort that girl, Lisa, to a gala.

"Kotetsu I…I didn't know you felt this way" Barnaby shook his head, "It was only supposed to be for the camera, I didn't expect things to turn out the way they did" he tried to explain

"No it's my fault, I spoiled you I'll admit that" he sighed, "In those tender moments I wanted to give you anything you wanted, weather it was a kiss, a hug, or even sex"

'It's true, no matter what he seemed to do, he would always forgive me with a smile'

"But then even that became routine, I often found myself wondering why were even together, especially in a relationship that's being hidden"

"When it comes down to it, I'm an old man, I don't want to force you to be with me. So no, I can't go home with you" he said sadly, "In fact I…"

"Don't say it"

"Huh?"

"Please don't say it" he tensed gripping his knees, visibly trembling

"I'm sorry but…we should end this relationship" he finally said, "I don't want to…get in your way, like I said you have a bright future, I'll always treasure the good times we had together"

"If you want, I can come by later and pick up my stuff...or if you prefer you can just throw it out and..."

It was so sudden, the gripping of fabric, the tears spilling forward as they soaked into the shirt below

"Barnaby? Hey, what's gotten into you?" he questioned after just being talked by the blond, "Listen I know its tough breaking up, but I'm sure in no time you'll forget me and find a cute girlfriend and..."

"Stop talking like that!" amber eyes widened at the sudden outburst and was soon was looking into the weeping blue eyes,

"Barnaby…?"

"Please…I…I don't want to lose you" he wept, "Don't call me Barnaby, call me Bunny like you used too"

"But, you hated when I called you Bunny" the blond shook his head

"No, at first I did…but then it grew on me, on that day when I came home and you weren't, at first I thought you were with your friends, but then as the days past and you didn't come back I felt…lonely"

"I missed the way you kissed me good morning, falling asleep with you in my arms, the way you cooked even if it was mostly fried rice" he sniffled, "Without your warm smile to brighten my day, my life is nothing by darkness"

"I know now, after being without you, that I selfishly took advantage of your kindness and forgiving nature without even thinking of how I had hurt you, my Kotetsu" he let his hand rub the others cheek, even though it was a short time, he had missed the feel of the others skin.

"Kotetsu, I love everything about you, the way you ask questions with a soft voice, the way you cut your fingernails too short, the perfume you wear" he whispered, "The way you kiss, your body, and your heart, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I took that all for granted" Kotetsu laid there, his eyes full of surprise hearing Barnaby...Barnaby Brooks Jr., apologizing.

"I'm not looking for forgiveness, I'm resigned to just being scolded by you. I don't even know if my words will reach your heart…But please consider…going out with me again!" with that Barnaby crashed their lips together, amber eyes widened at the sudden action, at first he was going to push away, to stop it before it got any further than this, but as the kiss deepened. Those hands that were once pushing, pulled and clutched the other body close.

Standing outside the door, looking from the crack, green eyes looked down cast, his body visibly trembling, before going still. With a short squat he set something down on the floor and walked off.

'I don't feel like a fool, or maybe I do, I'm resolved to be alone, I always have been, yet I surround myself with people who I know will abandon me. But I guess I'm used to it, I'm never meant to be loved, oh well' V loved Kotetsu, with all his heart, he wanted to dote and cherish him like a precious jewel or a great wonder, to find that complete part of him that had been void for years. He wanted to entwine and lace his fingers with the man that had stitched his heart so finely, kissing the wounds away with his words of confidence and hope.

But he loved Kotetsu, whatever made him happy he was resolved to happy too. Even if his love was unrequited he wouldn't complain because he was happy to have met him and for a short time believe they were lovers. He was prepared to come back and find him returned to Barnaby, he was ready if things were awkward and Kotetsu would push him to the background, he wouldn't block him from happiness. Sometimes he wished he was a computer, then he could delete unwanted files and data, like love.

Looking down at the note in his head he scanned the words,

To Kotetsu,

These roses are a symbol, red as the fire of my love that burns for you. Red as the blood I would shed to protect you. Red as the color of my cheeks when I'm nervous around you.

Love Always V

He smirked weakly, they were just words, that's all, it doesn't matter how much emotion you have in them, it doesn't matter how much you hold them dear, without anyone to hear them their just something that can be erased.

'As long as he didn't read them, they don't exist…love for me doesn't exist' with each twist the paper crumbled and shredded between his fingers, nonexistent and unimportant' but he guessed as long as Kotetsu was happy…

'If it makes you happy, I'm force myself to smile' he smiled letting the tears cascade,with the look in his green eyes that seemed to give up

A/N: I'm not gonna say anything after that, I'll leave that to you. My inspiration for this was a TB dj called Liar Alice. Also for those reading Two Breathes Walking, I will be adding a preview chapter in a couple of days, the story has about 2 or 4 more chapters until the end. Finally, there will be a sequel to this story, mostly dealing with V's life and eventually what he does after this story.


	2. Chapter 2

Nonsense Speaker

_"You told me so many things..._

_Yet, you have no idea... That the words you said..._

_Killed me on the inside..._

_And now... Look what you turned me into."_

'You're never going to be loved' that was one of the last things V's father said before he left home, well left is a nice way of putting it. If you asked V how his childhood was he would say,

"It was fun, full of love and care, my father taught me so many things" then he would smile, he practiced that smile for hours. Standing in front of the mirror, working his lips into an upwards curve. Ever since he was a child he always wanted to make his family happy.

Waking up early in the morning was routine for V, it was a chore of his. After making sure he showered, brushed his teeth, and made his bed. He would hurry down the stairs and into the kitchen in order to prepare breakfast for his family. He had a father and a mother. His father was a famous engineer and robotics technician especially in cybernetics. Because of his work he was very well paid, so his family lived in comfortable luxury. After fixing the plates he set them on the table.

In total there were three plates on the table, he made each plate with love. When his parents came down, he would smile and greeted them.

"Good morning father! Mother!" he smiled sitting at the table, waiting through the silence with only the sound of shuffling feet that became distant as the minutes passed on…

"Look I made you breakfast! I hope you like it!" when he opened his eyes again the seats were empty, the silence remaining in the large home. Still smiling the green eyed boy just sat there looking at the chairs.

"I guess they weren't hungry" he concluded, "I shouldn't waste food" so he didn't he ate it all, father, mothers, and his. By the end he was full, yet empty. He never understood the contradiction of those feelings, but he swallowed it anyway.

"I'll try again at dinner, they'll be so happy!" he smiled clearing off the table

_Emotions I feel they turn to none_

_I broke, I broke, them one by one_

_The smile that I had through all these years_

_It bears, it bears, these hateful tears_

As the years past as V got older, his mother surprised him when she revealed she was pregnant. Everyone was happy, it beamed through the house the joy of a new baby. After the nine months she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Vi-rtual, it was a rather weird name for a baby, but no one seemed to care. If you asked V how his relationship with his sister was he would say,

"My sister is so sweet, I love her very much!" then he would smile happily

'Would you just leave me alone!' a voice yelled, the green haired girl with the long hair tied in a ponytail, her dark green eyes glaring daggers at the male before her.

'I'm sorry, I just wanted to see if you wanted some ice cream" he apologized smiling weakly, 'I know how much you like chocolate chip and mint, so I went to the store and bought you some. We can share it! See' e said showing the pint of ice cream

Just leave me alone! I don't want any ice cream from you!' she yelled, the male just gave another smile looking done at the pint of ice cream,

'I…I'm sorry, if you want I can get you something else'

'No! I don't like sweets and I don't like you!' with a swipe of her hand pint of ice cream was knocked out of his hands falling on the floor. The green creamy substance trickling out onto the floor,

'Just go away you idiot' the girl walked off leaving the boy who was her older brother. As he was left alone, he walked to the small ice cream pint. Picking it up, he sat down on his hunches, looking at the remainder of the mint chocolate ice cream,

'Maybe next time' he concluded, placing the ice cream on his lips he leaned back drinking the melting substance.

'We'll eat ice cream next time, right sis' he smiled letting the bitter tears spring from his eyes.

_The scars that I have I gulped although_

_They hurt, they hurt, but you won't know_

_And if it is true you should admit_

_You didn't notice it_

No one would ever see him cry, he wouldn't allow it. One time he had come home from school, his face was bloody, the green liquid dripping from his forehead, from his nose, bruised and beaten he limped into the house. As he passed the by the study, his father's study,

"What happened to you?" the voice of his father spoke, as green eyes turned to look inside the study he smiled, if not weakly and said, "I got beat up again" his voice was a little over a whisper, but audible.

"I was in the hall when a group of students jumped me" he could still feel it punching him, kicking him, clawing, and yelling words. It wasn't uncommon for him to get beat up, it was actually used to it, and maybe his father will be worried for him. Maybe his mother will hold him close and bandage his wounds. Maybe his sister would comfort him with soft words and play games. But it was only a theory, in the end he bandaged his wounds, cleaned away the blood. No one would ever notice that pain behind the smile, no one would care, no one would be sad. No one would hear him cry in the middle of the night or when he was alone. No one would ever admit that he was in pain.

_Words you say that we can't see_

_They hit and they are killing me _

_You don't know how I feel inside_

_You don't know just how much I tried_

_Light that burned it's out by now_

_I try to get it back somehow_

_The "I" it slowly turned the "me" into what is "lies"_

V had been called many things in his life; he had been called worthless, idiot, fool, useless, trash, but those were just the nice ones. Whenever the words were said, V would take the hits, the jabs, the knife like cuts of each word that pierced him and smile. But no one knew how he really felt or rather no one tried to know. V had cried before, but no one came to console him. They heard him scream, but no one came running to see what was wrong. He remembered once when he was in elementary school, he was waiting for his mother to come and pick him up. He sat on the bench, a smile on his face, waiting for his mother to come and get him. As the minutes turned into an hour, then two, he still sat there waiting like a good child does. Even when the sky crackled and lightning flashed across the sky, he didn't move, even as the rain beat down drenching him in water his bitter tears of hatred mixing into the salty rain.

If you asked V what his relationship was with his mother he would say,

'My mother is so beautiful, I feel so lucky to be born to such a smart woman. She is the best mother ever' then he would smile from ear to ear, "I was lucky to be born to such a wonderful woman"

_In case you won't come but run and flee_

_You know, you know, it's fine with me_

_But if you are here and chose to be real_

_All my wound, all my wounds, will not heal_

_It's always the same with me_

_So deep inside my heart you'll be_

_You're smiling and that's all I see_

_You know it's unforgivably_

_That it hurts is hard to say_

_'Cause you won't hear it anyway_

_The "I" it turns to "clown" on my behalf_

_You'll laugh and laugh_

When V was in middle school, he was shocked one day to learn there would be another addition to the family. To say he was confused seemed to understate his emotion that day, his mother didn't look pregnant like the time when she was pregnant with his sister, but he smiled and wrote it off. Though his confusion would grow when he came home one day to find a strange boy in his room. He had light golden yellow hair and the bluest eyes like the clearest sky. He looked around his age, dressed in a nice dress blouse and black slacks. He turned to look at V, whose face was a confused state,

'Who are you?" he asked as he looked at the mysterious male, "Why are you in my room?" the boy only smirked looking smugly at the boy

"You must be V" the green haired boy nodded his head

"I'm Datian, your parents brought me here" he said taking a seat on the bed

"Like a guest or visitor?" he was still confused over the boys identity, but soon he would learn the dark truth of the boy. He was his new brother, or stepbrother, adopted by his parents. He had often wondered why his parents would adopt a child. At first V was happy to have another sibling, his parents seemed to loved him and his sister adored him as well. He was popular at school, everyone seemed to be drawn to the boy, quite opposite from V who was ostracized almost at first glance.

He didn't really act a brother…at least he didn't think. Datian always came in his room and took his things, he would hit him for no reason, play jokes on his at school, like the time he tripped him and V feel down the stairs. The incident fractured his arm,

But V wasn't upset, no he was happy for his brother. He was happy his father was proud to have him as a son, he was glad his mother doted and loved him so tenderly, he was happy as his sister eyes lit up when she was with him. How he gained so many friends, how he did good in grades, and everyone loved him! He was glad, he was glad!

_Right now I could just disappear_

_But it's a lie, it is a lie_

V had never gone to college, his grades were good enough, straight A's since elementary, but every-time he applied he always seemed to be rejected. In the end after he left home, he found himself in Sternbild, he had taken a job at a local bar. The owner was nice enough, though he held a domineering aura to him, but he gave him a job and that made him happy.

His new boss's name, Muramasa Kaburagi

It was a simple job, he was basically a bus boy and part-time server. He enjoyed his job, it made him smile, meeting new people, some good, some bad, but he was happy. What made him the happiest was working with one of his coworkers, his name

Kotetsu T. Kaburagi

He was one of the kindest people V had ever met, his smiled brightened even the darkest day, he was kind and kind hearted, always wanting to help anyone in need. He was also very handsome, with tan skin, his amber eyes like a wild tiger, his cat shaped beard style that only added to his cuteness. Whenever he was near V's heart would beat for miles and miles, like it burn out at any second. He loved everything about him, at first it was only a fatherly sort of feel, but it grew and grew into something more.

'Love' it was so foreign feeling on his tongue, a tingling like a strike of electricity pulsing through his nerves. He wanted to get close to him, but his mind told him different,

'How many times will you tatter your heart, will you offer the fragments to him' it was true his nerves and spirit were crushed practically to dust, offering it to anyone for the smallest shred of affection. Kind words, sweet gestures, anything artificial to soothe his damaged self.

He remembered once when he was working in the back he dropped a dish on the floor, shattering into pieces, V panicked, fearing he would be fired and the animosity of his boss and co-workers. Though it was rather extreme to think he would be hated for a broken dish, but he had been scolded for less than that.

'Hey, I heard a noise back here is everything alright?' a voice called, from the door amber eyes saw a head of green kneeling on the floor collecting the broken dishes from the floor.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Forgive me I broke a dish!" V said continuing to clean up, 'Don't be mad I'll have everything cleaned up, sorry, sorry' he continued to apologize

'Hey now, it's alright' V's eyes widened seeing the older male kneeling next to him,

'Kaburagi-sama! It's fine, I can clean it up!' he said visibly trembling seeing the other next to him, amber eyes looked into green

'It's fine, it'll be faster if I help too!" he said and continued to pick up the pieces, 'See all down' standing up he went over to the trash and dumped the pieces into the trash.

'Thank you Kaburagi-sama!" he thanked the other, 'Please tell Mr. Kaburagi, I'll pay for a new dish' he said

'Huh? Na, there's no need for that' he said surprising the other, 'Huh? But I broke a dish…and' he stopped hearing a hearty laugh

'It's fine! Between you and me I break a lot of stuff around here, Muramasa maybe strict, but he's understanding' he said, 'If not he would have fired me a long time ago' he smiled before giving another smile. V blushed, he didn't know why but that smile was so different from his, it was so hopeful and full of good cheer.

'Well then we better get back to work, see out front!' he said patting the others head, it was so gentle, those warm amber eyes wishing him good luck before walking back out front. V could only stand there, shocked and in disbelief at the moment,

In that moment the fragmented pieces that laid broken and scattered seemed to pulse and tremble. As the days passed V grew closer to Kotetsu, he became a beacon for hope, shining a ray of something V had never experienced before…friendship. No matter what he was feeling Kotetsu would always be there offering advice to the green haired male. When he was sad, strong arms would hug him and whisper words of encouragement, like the arms of a fathers around a child. He never had that moment with his father…none that he could remember.

'Hey V have you had lunch yet?" the older male asked as V cleaned the tables, he smiled slighty and shook his head

'Great!' he smiled, 'I made some of my special rice, would you like to try some with me?' he asked, V could only blink in confusion and nervousness, he smiled and nodded not wanting to upset the other. Handing him the lunch, V took a bite out of the fried rice and his eyes lit up.

'This is…really good'

'I'm glad you like it! It's my special Wild Fried Rice!' he smiled before going back to their lunch

'Kotetsu-sama's fried rice…is really good' he thought the spoon lingering on his lips

In those passing months V wanted nothing more to make Kotetsu happy, to see him smile and look at him with those gentle amber eyes,

'I want to be a person that can take care of Koetsu-sama can depend on'

Sitting in his apartment, the sun was just setting as dim rays fluttered through his window,

I tried really hard, it's enough I guess' like he predicted he was gone, when he returned home Kotetsu had greeted him with that gentle smile, but with eyes that held a mix of sadness and guilt. They had sat down and talked about the situation, after a heart to…what exactly was beating in his chest?

After the talk Kotetsu smiled and thanked him for all he did for him and for being a great friend,

'Are you okay?' V's expression was blank for a few moments, the smile he had practiced for such a long time had returned.

'Yes I'm fine' he said, 'I was happy to help you Kaburagi-san' V smiled. It was nice while it lasted he guessed. Now he sat alone in his empty apartment, feeling more alone without the other to keep him company.

'Everything reminds me of him' as he thought about he let his mind wonder to that night, when he confessed himself. Bringing his arms up, blocking the light away he sat there for what seemed like forever,

'Yes, now I understand…I'll end it all' one final tear fell down V's cheeks

'Please forgive me, I cause everyone so much trouble'

It was a little past twelve, V sat on the bench of the train station, the sound of the trains arriving and going, the tapping of shoes against the tile, the chattering of people and the voice of the intercom. Sitting on the bench, a scarf wrapped around the lower half of his face to fend from the crisp fall air.

Waiting for his train to arrive, V was making a mental check list of everything he had done and was supposed to do. He turned in his letter of resignation at the bar, it was nothing big. His boss looked at him, but seemed to understand. V thanked him for all he had done for him, before he wished V good luck in his life.

But when he asked did he want to say farewell to everyone else, V shook his head and smiled

'I don't want to bother anyone, I left everyone a message' with that he left, no one would miss him, slowly he would fade from their memories.

It was the way it always was and V was fine with that,

As time seemed to tick by, V just sat there and thought, in the time till this moment, V had been approached by a man, a business man who offered him job at the company he worked for. Ouroboros Co., a weird company name, but one of the top five major companies in developing technology. He had basically offered him a high paying position in the engineering division, along with a small spot in cybersecurity. The job itself seemed too good to be true, he knew that the company was rival with Barnaby Brooks Jr. for the top spot of the technology market with Brook's company ahead. But…V wanted to be great, he wanted people to look at him with respect and admiration and pride. It wanted to save enough and become the kind of person…someone would love. As he thought about it his reasons were now fragmented and void, he contemplated it more and more and couldn't find a reason not to take it, things like this never happened before and never happened twice. After more and more thought he made his decision and took the position.

'I wish I was like a computer, able to delete useless data, unwanted codes…bitter script'

He would leave the city, just like before, he would become someone great and respected, wealthy and famous. If he couldn't have love, then his work was the only option left.

"_Now boarding, 1:00 out of Sternbild is now boarding at gate 9"_

'That's me' with a small sigh, he stood grabbing his two bags; his other items were already packed and boarded on the train. Walking down the terminal, he looked at the long train of silver chrome. It was truly beautiful, from the chrome finish down to the hydraulics that could reach 200 km/h.

V gave a blush, placing his hand on the body, he could feel the electricity pulsing through it.

'You'll take me away from this place. I'm V by the way, you're a very lovely machine' he hummed, as he waited to be boarded.

'V!' green eyes blinked, 'V!' there it was again, and with a sudden turn V looked down the terminal to see figures running up the terminal.

Antonio, also known as Kotetsu's best friend, was running up the terminal, but he wasn't alone. Not far behind was Karina, Nathan and the others. V stood there wondering why they all were there. Now V stood face to face with the individuals,

'Finally we found you' Antonio said taking short breathes,

'What are you all doing here?'

'Huh!? Are you serious?' Antonio gave him a look of both confusion and seriousness, 'You basically leave without telling anyone and to top it off you move too'

'I sent you all a text, I apologize that I couldn't do it face to face, but I was busy trying to get things together'

'That's not the point!' it was Karina this time, her voice chastising as she narrowed her eyes at the other, 'You've had everyone worried about you and then you leave without a word! It was really selfish and rude!' she scolded the other

'Sweetie is right, you shouldn't up and leave like that" Nathan added with a short tsk, everyone seemed to be chastising or scolding the green haired male for leaving.

V blinked for a moment and smiled that fake smile,

'Again I apologize, I didn't want to make a fuss for something so small' it was quick, the red print on his face as all eyes turned to look at Karina who had slapped him across the face.

'That's completely wrong! Are you so selfish, do you know how much you hurt Kotetsu-san with your action!' she yelled, 'He was on the verge of tears when he found out you had just quit without even a goodbye!' as she scolded him, her eyes like ice and her voice like venom V just stood there and took it, he had been taking it for years, from birth to now, he had been showered in the animosity of others, he had been beaten down to the point where the words only numbed him.

'Are you done?' the group only looked the male who seemed to smile, if not sadly at the others lectures, 'I said I was sorry, what more can I say at this point'

Have I made you sad, angry, do you hate me? Do you know home many times I've heard this talk before? Words of despise and hatred, I've heard them all" he said, 'To be frank I hate myself, my life, my existence, to end it would be a blessing wouldn't it. I've tried it a lot, a gun to my head, a noose around my neck, drowning, poisoning, and even slitting my wrist.

'I've had so many opportunities, no one's tried to stop me'

'I'm sorry I made the old tiger weep, I'm sorry I made the bunny angry, the dog bark, the panda sad, the rose welt it's blue petals, the origami crumble, the phoenix turn to cinders, and if anything remains I apologize for that as well, I'm always causing trouble for everyone' he smiled with a short chuckle, no one said anything, looks of surprise and shock at the males words.

'I've talk too much again haven't I, oh well best to say it now I guess' he chuckled, 'Well my train is about to leave, I hope you all have good lives' he said with a short bow, 'Please give Kaburagi-san and Brooks-san my best, I hope they have a good life together' the last part the smile seemed to fade from his lips. And with one final bow, the male boarded the train leaving the others to only watch.

Taking his seat, V looked out the window towards the platform, for one final moment he saw the group standing there and slowly watched them become distant as the train pulled away.

Farewell Sternbild, maybe years from now I'll return…maybe

Hours later, the train began to make its stop and final destination. As the passengers dismounted the train, V stepped off the long, speeding train.

Placing his hand on frame again he smiled, 'Thank you for a lovely ride, you ride very smoothly' he thanked the train, 'I hope we can meet again' and with that he picked up his bags and headed out of the station, stepping onto the city sidewalks there wasn't much difference from this city and Sternbild, but he was sure he would find some differences once he got situated.

As he looked around and contemplated his all he had to do he felt something touch his shoulder,

'V?' with a swift turn, green met gray, 'Sorry for the scare, I didn't mean to startle you' the older male apologized, 'Let me introduce myself, my name is Mr. Albert Maverick, I'm one of the head CEO's of Ouroboros Co.' he smiled introducing himself

'Oh! Hello Mr. Maverick-san, I'm Vi-stream Nine!' he said rather surprised seeing a CEO of his future employer, 'Sorry if I'm being too out there, I wasn't expecting to see a CEO' he said as the other just chuckled

'Think nothing of it my boy' he said patting the other's shoulders, 'While it may seem a bit unorthodox, but I wanted to meet you personally. I've heard great things about you'

V blushed a little, 'Y-You have?'

'Yes, small things, but word around the boards is that you're a very skilled computer specialist, you've even taken down some of the big companies like they were nothing'

'V/V, it's nothing that big, I just make sure all the systems are up to code, a lot of programs talk big, but most of them lack a secure wall and back door to keep even the newest hacker out' he blushed

'Talented and modest, I see great things for you' V smiled at this, feeling the sense of…pride swell in his chest.

'Come we can talk more on the way to your apartment' he said motioning to a shiny black vehicle, V's eyes sparkled with amazement, sure he had seen limo's before, but this was the first time he got to ride in one meant for him.

During the drive, Mr. Maverick began to tell V of his new job and the many benefits that came with it. Even though he had only met the older CEO, he felt a fatherly connection to the man who seemed to praise him for his works.

As the car stopped, V stepped out first to look at his new home,

'Wow!'

'I hope the accommodations are to your liking, the company spared no expense to make our newest valuable employee comfortable'

'You didn't have to do all that for my expense'

'Think nothing of it, like I said you're a very valuable member to us' V blushed more at the man's words.

'Anyway I'll let you get situated, I look forward to working with you'

'Yes, me too, Mr. Maverick-san' V nodded and with a nod her new boss re-entered the limo and was driven away. Entering the large building, stepping out of the private elevator V awed looking at his new apartment. It was big and spacious, there was a large window that gave him a full view of the city. The rooms were fully furnished and the kitchen was with some of the up to date appliances he had ever seen.

'I wonder what I should cook first?', looking around the kitchen, 'Maybe a nice vegetable juice!'

After becoming accommodated in his new home, V got right to work in his new position,

'Alright V this is it! You can do it!' V wasted no time showing his skill, he was like a machine typing, creating code and checking over each security system with a fine magnifying glass. During one of his many checks to the system he was approached by his boss.

'Oh, good evening Mr. Maverick-san' V greeted her boss

'Evening, how are things going?'

'Fine sir, I was running a test on the new security protocol' V said typing on the large computer, 'With this new protocol, the companies systems will be more secure then Fort Knocks!'

'Is that so?'

'Yep, basically if someone outside the system tries to hack into the system they protocol will do a complete lockdown on all the files and do an immediate full track sending an cyber drone to the hackers computer'

'Cyber tracker?'

'Think of it as a computerized blood hound that tracks the code left behind to locate the hacker's computer'

'Remarkable, good job V' he congratulated the other, who smiled and thanked his boss

'I'm actually came to tell you of a meeting that's about to take place with some of the other CEO's from other companies' he explained, 'Nothing big, just a small get together to discuss possible projects, boring stuff really'

'It sounds very interesting' V said

'Hm, I'm glad you think so, I was hoping you would come to the meeting with me' V blinked in surprise

'Me, sir?' he pointed to himself

'Well of course, you are one of this company's prized employee's, I've actually been meaning to introduce you, I hope that's alright'

'Its fine, it'll actually be cool to meet some of the executives from other companies'

As the two excited the computer room, they headed to the upper level where the higher ups worked and meetings were held. They now stood in front of a metal door, with a press of the button the door slide open, walking inside V saw the long table seated with who he suspected was the executives of the other companies.

'Now then, before we begin the meeting let me introduce you to Vi-stream Nine or V for short, he's my head of engineering and cybersecurity here at the company' Maverick said introducing the young man,

'Hello, it's an honor to meet all of you' V greeted the executives respectfully, 'I hope to work with each of you respectfully'

After the meeting, V greeted the executives shaking their hands and exchanging small talks of possible future collaborations. If you asked V how he felt at this moment he would say,

'This is so awesome! I feel so…useful and wanted' he smiled happily

'Hello I'm Vi-stream Nine…' he greeted another executive

'Hello V' green eyes widened, meeting blue eyes, the golden blond hair, before him stood one of the last people he needed to see,

'Barnaby…'

'Ah, Barnaby is been a long time' Mr. Maverick cut in,

'Maverick' his voice was calm, yet held an ice

'Sorry if I'm intruding, can I assume you two know each other?'

'Um…well nothing personal, Mr. Brooks would frequently visit the bar I worked at' V said

'Oh, I see'

'If it's not too much trouble, could I borrow your employee for a moment' Barnaby inquired looking at the older man,

'Be my guest, though I hope you're not trying to steal him' he laughed rather jokingly, 'You can use one of the rooms in the hall'

'Right, thank you'

Now it was just V and Barnaby, as the two stood in the room, the tenseness was thick and uncomfortable.

'So, this is where you're working now?'

'Yeah, Mr. Maverick offered it to me back in Sternbild, it sound like a good offer' V said, 'Though I'm guessing you didn't want to talk about my job'

'Actually it's about half right' he said adjusting his glasses, 'Listen you're a smart individual, but you shouldn't get mixed up with a man like Maverick' Barnaby said

'Huh?'

'Maverick a manipulative individual, he's conniving and will do anything to get what he wants and he doesn't care who or what he uses to achieve his goals'

'Well that's one thing you would know about'

'Excuse me?' Barnaby raised an eyebrow

'Listen I don't know what kind of history you have with Mr. Maverick-san, but he's my boss, in fact he's a really nice man. Secondly when it comes to being manipulative you have a really good experience in that department'

'I not following, would you care to elaborate'

'Listen I'm not trying to get into anyone's personal life, it's just when someone's in a relationship it would stand to reason that said person wouldn't hide their relationship for publicity' he said using air quotes,

'Now I see, the old man told about your…affection toward him' V made a humming noise at this, 'I can see it was true'

'Well it doesn't really matter now, does it' he sighed, 'Kaburagi-san choose you, nothing I can do about it. I put my heart on the line or rather I put the fragments on the line, and lost. Can't cry about it can I" he shrugged, 'I guess I should be happy, in a way if I didn't lose, I probably wouldn't have this job working for Mr. Maverick-san' V stated as he looked out the window

'Your reasoning is a bit thin, you're following the notion of a broken heart, not ample reasoning. You only took this job to run away from the problem' Barnaby said, a chuckle escaped V's lips before becoming a full laugh,

"I guess your right about that, I'm a hopeless coward" he smiled, 'I've tried really hard to be something that everyone can rely on, to be looked up to, respected…I wanted to be someone loved, even with being shunned and despised, I just smiled…' he hummed, "Even with Ko…Mr. Kaburagi-san, I wanted to be a person that could give him everything he could ever want to prove that I was worthy to be loved by someone like him"

"But in the end I was only diluting myself with an artificial hope that I had found the one person in the world that would love me, but like life it's just a beautiful lie' he sighed, "So yeah you won, Kaburagi-san will always love you, even if you won't show it, he choose you"

"So your right I'm a coward, I'm resolved to be a coward, not in the since that I'm afraid or weak, but…how do I say this?" he scratched his head for a while, "I'm a coward to my emotions! Yep, that's it"

Barnaby just stood there, he had only met the male in passing when he visited his lover at work and had only heard of him from Kotetsu and his companions. But after chatting, even shortly, he could already tell this person…had already given up',

"So anyway if that's it I have more work to do, it was interesting speaking with you Mr. Brooks Jr., please tell everyone I'm fine and am doing well at my new job" he said walking past the still silent blond,

"Wait, Maverick…"

'Right, right' he waived the other off, "Don't take it personally if I don't take your words to heart. While your worry is dully noted I am, by age a grown man, and I can make decisions by myself. Though sometimes my decisions don't turn out the way I hoped, I guess that's the price I pay" he gave a light-hearted laugh, "Anyway good talk, let's have lunch, light vegetarian! This city has a great smoothie shop that makes the best vegetable and fruit smoothies, no joke!" he exclaimed, 'But anyway send my regards to everyone! Bye!' and with that V left without another word from the other, a smile on his face as he walked down the hallway.

As the days passed, V continued his works with Ouroboros, he never saw much of Barnaby except for short glances as he came to talk business with his boss. The phone calls from before from everyone seemed to dwindle to short occurrences, though he wouldn't say most were 'pleasant' if not everyone scolding him in various aspects of his moving. He often wondered how everyone was doing, he contemplated calling or maybe visiting, but would quickly forget it with the awkwardness that was probably there.

'They probably forgotten me already'

On one of V's days off he sat in his living room, he had choose to use this time to read one of his favorite comics, dressed in a nice shirt and shorts, kegs folded and feet bare and finally a nice picture of vegetable juice on the table, V was truly relaxed.

"Wow the new issue of Next is really great!" V exclaimed, "I hope Wild Tiger gets his powers back, he's so cool!" he blushed, if it's one thing V loved it was superhero's. They always gave him a since of comfort in his youth,

'knock,knock'

"Wonder who that could be?" V inquired, with a quick jump he got off the couch setting his book under his arms, he hummed walking towards the door,

'Coming, coming!" he called as the knocking continued, opening the door, V smiled and said, 'Hello! how can I help you?' but the smile quickly fell and form into a look of surprise at who was standing outside the door.

"K-Kaburagi-san?' he stammered a bit a little surprised to see the other male, especially not in his apartment

'Good morning" he greeted the other, his gentle smile ever present on his face, 'Hope I'm not disturbing you'

'Huh? No,No' he shook his head, 'I just wasn't expecting to see...I just wasn't expecting company' he said scratching his cheek

"Do you mind if I come in? It's rather impolite to leave someone standing outside" he pointed out

"Oh right! sorry, please come in!" he said inviting the older male in

"Wow this is a really nice place, your company must really want to keep you" Kotetsu said looking over the large area

"Yeah, it's rather embarrassing" he blushed, "Can I get you anything? Something to drink?" V said from the kitchen

"I don't want to impose...but a drink does sound nice"

"Okay, let me see..." looking in his fridge, which was fully stocked, he had water, vegetable juice, soda..."Oh!" grabbing a container and some glasses

"I found some sake in the fridge! The company stocked in my in there as a welcome basket" he said pouring him and his 'guest' some of the rice liqour

"Thank you" Kotetsu said accepting the glass, taking a short sip

"So Kaburagi-san what brings you all the way from Sternbild? I have to say I wasn't expecting visitors" V said taking a seat back on the sofa

"You make it sound weird for a friend to visit another" he said, "I actually wanted to visit and maybe check up on you. How are you anyway?"

"Oh, fine! Though I'm busier then I thought I be, but I got a lot of people counting on me, so I'm working real hard!" V stated with a goofy smile

"You always were the hard worker, but I'm happy to hear your doing well" Kotetsu smiled, "Maybe you'll come back to Sternbild to visit everyone" there was a silence for a moment,

"Um, Kaburagi-san..." he began drawing the others attention, amber eyes watched as V drew his knees to his chest resting his shin on his knees "Don't be upset but...I don't think I'll be returning to Sternbild" Kotetsu blinked in surprise at this

"Not coming back? But why?"

"Don't take it the wrong way but...I, I don't have anything to go back too" he said,

"Nothing to back too? That seems rather odd to say, what about everyone back in the city, all our friends" V gave a chuckle at that

"Friends...I don't think they think of me as a friend, they didn't seem to angry at me back at the train station. Lyle-san basically chewed me out about my 'selfish' choice to just move away. Besides that I don't think anyone wants me back"

"Now that's ridiculous" Kotetsu stated, "Of course everyone see's you as a friend, everyone misses you, they were just shocked to have something like that dropped on them at the last minute"

"Oh, if you say so. But, I've made my decision to stay here and work at Ouroborous"

"V, I'm not saying you should quite your job or anything...though Bunny doesn't seem rather fond of the company" he added rather unconsciously

"Yeah, he basically said the same thing to me, but like told him I can make decisions for myself"

"No ones debating that, you are an adult" Kotetsu stated a little confused on the others behavior, "But Bunny thinks Mr. Maverick is rather sketchy. They used to work with each other you know, it didn't end well..."

"We just want to make sure your safe"

"Your worry is noted, but a bit misplaced right now" V said, "You don't have to try so hard, emotions like that are wasted on me"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"It's nothing really, it's just that...you don't have to pretend to want to be here. I already know you hate me for making you upset, besides it was rather awkward back home" he said

"See after much thought I figure out a solution, see when we first met at first I thought of you as brother or older sibling, that grew to me seeing you as a father or mother when you brought me lunch and gave me encouraging talks" he said using his hands as examples moving them closer together, "In that time, I felt those feelings grow into something, yes I felt them grow into love" he blushed, "I wanted to better myself, to become someone who give you anything and everything you wanted, even when I saw you with Brooks-san I wanted so much for you to look at me, to fall in love with me"

"After that night and the short time we lived together I figured out my feelings were delusional and unrequited, that the love I was willing to give wouldn't be returned and for that I apologized that what I had said to you Kaburagi-san" he said silently, "I wish you and your boyfriend all the happiness in the world, that you have a happy life together"

"So please don't pity me, my feelings aren't worth it"

"V..." he swallowed a lump in his throat, "Why...are you saying all this? Is this truly how you feel? Listen if you need to talk about this..." V shook his head slowly, "No, talking doesn't seem...no it's too late for talking"

"I've rearranged all the pieces, if it helps I pushed those feelings of love back dwindling them into a friend/a quittance segment"

"V?"

"It's not tough, I know I'll only be a 'friend' to you, I'm resolved to never to be loved, you were my first and my last, to just have met you is enough for me. Even back before you returned with Barnaby-san I was prepared for you to leave me"

"V that's enough!" V blinked at the others outburst, "I...I don't want to here you talking like that. To speak with such fined hopeless and smile with a forged smile"

"I...I didn't want this to happen, your like this because of me" he frowned,

"It's not your fault Kaburagi-san..."

"Like that, you never called me by my last name. You would always call me Kotetsu or sensei or even Tiger" he said, "What happened to the V that smiled all the time, who joked, and stammered with his words when he was nervous, and talk for hours on end about the most random things"

"What happened to that V?" his voice was trembling now, "I didn't want any of this to happen, because of my actions, because I dragged you into my relationship problems knowing your feelings for me..."

"But Kaburagi-san..."

"When I found out he had resigned something told me it was because of that night, but when I wanted to talk with you, you were already gone. Your apartment empty with nothing but a card..."

_'Please forgive me, goodbye'_

"I just knew it was all may fault, I should have pushed to talk too you more instead of just abandoning you"

_'You know it's unforgivably, __That it hurts is hard to say , __'Cause you won't hear it anyway'_

"In truth a part knew you would be upset, that things would probably be awkward between us and some how I believed that maybe after awhile you and I would go back to being friends...but now I see that I was just being overly hopeful" he admitted, a sense of shame in his voice and eyes, "I left you in such a vulnerable state, I damaged your fragile heart. As a man, a father, a mother, and a sometimes role model and advice giver I deeply apologized for my actions" he apologized.

With a gasp he felt something one his shoulders, it was V, hands firmly set on his shoulders as green eyes looked down into amber. Leaning down Kotetsu gasped feeling the the eclipse of the others lips on his. For a short moment their lips remained connected in the sudden kiss, before finally breaking away.

_'You told me so many things...y__et, you have no idea... That the words you said...k__illed me on the inside...a__nd now... Look what you turned me into.'_

All the words until then, the good and bad, can be conceived as nothing but nonsense, fragile words spoken. Yet all the words, the good and the bad, hurt in their own ways. V didn't regret meeting Kotetsu T. Kaburagi, he didn't regret loving him and wanting him. Falling from his high he could only see those amber eyes and that gentle smile...

_Words you say that we can't see_  
_They hit and they are killing me_  
_You know it's unforgivably_  
_Also is this type of me_  
_But if you think that this is fine_  
_Then please come kill me don't decline_  
_'Cause "I" it slowly turned the "me" into what is "lies"_  
_Only "lies"_

Yes that's it...he wanted to be killed by that love...and after so many years, he smiled truthfully


End file.
